


Now We’re Grown-up Orphans

by AlrightDarlin (WhoopsOK)



Series: The Foxhole Kits [5]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Families of Choice, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoopsOK/pseuds/AlrightDarlin
Summary: The little adventures of The Foxhole Kits as siblings and Wymack’s kiddos.(Drabbles and one-shots about the little Foxes being friends and having their hurts comforted.)
Relationships: David Wymack & The Foxes, Minor or Background Relationship(s), The Foxes & The Foxes (All For The Game)
Series: The Foxhole Kits [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1288151
Comments: 14
Kudos: 70





	1. In which Andrew gets his nails painted

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy kits, it’s been a while. Listen, I know 2020 sucks, but I genuinely hope you’re well and safe. I hope this makes your day a little better.
> 
> Series note: I’d gotten myself wrapped up in the idea that I needed to start a whole separate series for the stories I have planned/written about The Foxes as a family post-graduation… What’s going to happen instead is this fic specifically is going to have any of the ideas I have that focus on them still being in college and having regular little time.
> 
> Every fic after this in the series is going to be based on them staying connected (and occasionally getting to be little) after they graduate. This fic is updated as the muse moves!
> 
> Title from “Name” by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Watching paint dry isn’t a particularly interesting pastime, but Allison has to admit, she finds it a bit more interesting than the paper proposal she’s supposed to be working on. It’s not due until next Wednesday, but Wymack made her _promise_ she’d work on it before they came over for game night tomorrow. Her Coach is one of the only people in the world that gives her any interest in hearing she was _a good girl_ , so she’ll work on the freaking assignment. Mostly. Sort of.

Honestly, Allison is half listening to a TED Talk that may be relevant and blowing on her fresh nail polish.

For similar reasons, Andrew is seated next to her blankly staring at the webinar he’s supposed to be watching, Neil seated across from them _actually_ working on his French homework quietly with Seth.

Neil glances up at her, smiling when she winks at him, before going back to reading through Seth’s work with him. She’s bored to tears, but she doesn’t want to make them catch her fidgety restlessness if they’re actually focused.

Andrew, though, is looking at his computer like he’s maybe not even seeing it. She’s getting better at being able to tell when he actually cares about something just by the tiny shifts of his expression. He’s giving 8% at best to the professor droning in his earbuds. It still makes Allison bubbly happy to know that, nowadays, she can pretty reliably get over half of Andrew’s attention whenever she wants it.

Case in point, he looks up at her after a while of her watching him, his face barely changing except for a tiny flick of his eyebrow. _What?_

Allison is _bored_ , but she doesn’t want to be disruptive. She’s being a good girl. She shakes some nail polish at him, tips her head in question. He just looks at it blandly, but Allison isn’t quite deterred yet. She considers her own nails. Orange is maybe a bit too bright of a color for him, even if it would be cute to match his jersey. She leans over to riffle through her bag for her nail pouch, because she thinks she’s got— _ah ha_. She’s got a vial of _Blue Satin_ left, the darkest color she ever uses. She offers up that instead.

It sends a bright sparkle of joy up through her chest when he offers her his closest hand, but she keeps her face fairly neutral as she takes it. She can’t help cracking a smile, though, especially when Neil is smiling at her, too.

Andrew is surprisingly patient as she carefully applies the polish. He tenses up minutely when she leans down to blow on his fingers, so she sits back and fans them with her papers instead. She leaves his palm resting on hers when he doesn’t immediately take it back when they’ve started to dry, though. Waving to get his attention, she asks with her free hand, [Both?]

She was going to move around to his other side, but he reaches across himself, slumped over a little so he’s leaning on the arm of her chair. She turns to face him as she repeats the process, a little quicker this time in deference to the odd position. And the fact that he’s watching her now.

“You’re making me nervous,” she laughs.

“It’s _my_ hand,” Andrew replies.

Allison _yeah-yeahs_ him, concentrating as she finishes up his hand without getting any polish on his skin. She doesn’t quite manage it—hums with a pout as she wipes off the bit of paint that hits his cuticle and smudges it onto her notes—so it’s maybe not the best manicure, but it’s more than passable. It’ll look better once he showers off that little strip of excess.

“It’s a nice little pop of color,” Allison says, admiring her work by turning his hand this way and that, watching the wet polish shimmer in the light. She looks up at him as she fans it with her report again. “What do you think? I have remover in the dorms if you don’t like them.”

Andrew looks down at his hands for a long while before he taps his thumb on the back of her knuckles. That alone doesn’t quite mean anything _specific_ —a polite request to let go and a sign of neutral approval, probably—but Allison smiles anyway as she lets him have his hand back.

Then she smiles wider when he shifts to give her back his closer hand, leaving them intertwined in a horrific clash of orange and blue.

[Thanks,] he signs which is answer enough.

Allison blows a kiss at him, snorting when Seth smirks and rolls his eyes at the gesture, before restarting her TED talk with the soft weight of Andrew’s hand in hers.

//

Andrew _does_ like it, though. He likes that he can sort of feel the polish and he likes that it catches the light when he signs. He likes the way his nails look in Renee’s pale hair or against the skin of Neil’s face, even the way there’s an innocuous bit of difference in his appearance from Aaron’s. In all honesty, he’d liked it from the moment he saw how it looked, fingers laced between Allison’s brighter nails when he put his hand back in hers.

It’s new to him, being able to accept and acknowledge little joys from other people. She paints his nails and holds his hand; when he taps her to be let go, she squeezes his hand and doesn’t make a big deal about releasing him. He thinks about that every time he catches himself looking at his nails. His sister can be trusted, at least with this. That’s miles more than they had before.

His nails chip during practice a week later. Andrew rolls his eyes when Allison actually pouts upon noticing.

“Aw, they did good to last that long though, actually,” Dan allows laughing at her.

“They looked nice,” Kevin says without looking up from where he’s prying off his gear. His longing is not nearly as subtle as he thinks it is.

[I’m going to redo them,] Andrew signs, honestly unbothered by the flash of skin tone in a sea of blue. It’s still eye-catching.

Allison gives him a surprised look and Andrew fights the reflex to pretend he doesn’t care. “Yeah? You want to use mine or go shopping?” She laughs when he just graces her with a flat look. “Come on, I know you want your own colors.”

“He can use mine, too. I don’t really use the liquid black,” Renee says, then nudges her shoulder against Kevin’s. “Princess, too, if he wants.”

Kevin’s mouth wobbles before he caves and smiles shyly at her. “I’d like that.”

They make a night of it, the girls (including their Princess) and Andrew.

Andrew lets them paint his nails because apparently that’s their thing, now. It doesn’t become a _permanent_ thing, exactly. Andrew doesn’t enjoy the upkeep enough to paint his nails every time they start to chip and he knows Allison occasionally forks out the money to get hers done professionally. Still, there’s something intimate about her chatting happily while he polishes her nails for a change. Kevin has sponges between his toes, politely declining having his fingernails quite as vividly pink as his toenails, but watching as Andrew carefully applies the _Defy Explanation Hot Pink_ to Allison’s hands.

Before Renee can finish the topcoat on Andrew’s hands, Dan’s eyes light up. “Oh wait!” she says and she’s up and jogging to the bedroom. When she comes back, she’s got a tiny bag in her hands. Andrew thinks it’s a dime bag for a baffled second, before she’s close enough for him to see it’s full of tiny rhinestones. “I was going to do my ring finger, but if you want some for your middle fingers—”

Allison cracks up before Dan even finishes speaking.

Andrew’s sisters know him, apparently pretty well. What a thought.

“Why must you encourage him?” Kevin asks, but he’s just with them so he doesn’t make a point to try and stay stoic through his chuckling.

By the end of it, Andrew’s got three little gems on each of his middle fingers, catching the light every time he reaches over to get popcorn out of the bowl in Allison’s lap. He leans his head back against Renee’s thigh, where she’s stretched out across Kevin on the couch, all of them content to let Dan pick the cartoon for the night.

If he winds up with “ _Hey, hey! Life in the Dreamhouse!_ ” stuck in his head for the next week, that’s nobody’s business but his.


	2. In which Seth apologizes to Nicky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Past homophobia, implied internalized homophobia, references to child abuse
> 
> As always, hurts are comforted.

There are still times that Seth feels some kind of residual panic kick his heart off beat when he thinks about going to clubs. Even if his brain has helpfully nuked most of _That Night_ from his memory, he can’t forget the feeling, not when it still has him waking up in the occasional cold sweat. Betsy has told him that’s normal. Neil and Kevin and Andrew have also told him the same.

It still kind of pisses him off that the closest he’s gotten to his usual haunts is blasting music inside Matt’s truck, because the doors lock and there’s no crowd and his brother would never push him back off the wagon. But there’s a freedom to that, too. Blowing down the highway just to kill time and stress, screaming the entirety of _Mesmerize_ at the top of their lungs, fighting about whether to listen to 5FDP or Disturbed next. Seth has never had it like this with his siblings and every time they get to do it, it unwinds some of the tension and grief in his chest. Matt smiles like maybe it does something similar for him, too.

They have just hopped out of the truck, sitting on the tailgate with their faces sore from smiling and ears slightly ringing, when Andrew’s car pulls into the Tower parking lot.

Matt hops down immediately with a shameless shrug, but Seth just rolls his eyes. Neil shows up and Matt turns into a cupcake; nothing new.

Nicky spills out of the car first, though, barely waiting for Andrew to put it in park. He jogs over to meet Matt halfway, the others getting out at a more sedate pace. Nicky smacks a noisy kiss on his cheek, his fingers resting on the back of Matt’s neck when Seth catches sight of the ring on his finger.

It occurs to him that Nicky has a partner that he knows absolutely nothing about. Other than him being a man.

Before, that would’ve been a welcome reprieve from his usual chattering about his life, about _being gay_. Now, Seth just feels a tiny flare of guilt. They’re trying to be—no, they _are_ friends now, but has he really made Nicky feel safe enough to not have to hide anymore? It doesn’t seem like _hiding_ , exactly, but Seth doesn’t like the idea that Nicky would not mention the love of his life just for the sake of keeping the peace with Seth.

For all that NA has taught him, somehow Seth had forgotten one of the amends he needs to make.

Really, he hasn’t earned the right to ask anything of Nicky, forgiveness or otherwise. Still, when Nicky swings around Matt to smile at him and say hi like he doesn’t have an easy dozen reasons to give Seth the cold shoulder, Seth feels like _he_ doesn’t have the right to stay silent.

“Hey,” he greets easily, sliding down to close Matt’s tailgate behind him. “Nicky, do you have a sec?”

Nicky pauses at that—everyone pauses, actually. There’s a prickly rush of heat crawling up Seth’s neck when Nicky looks hesitantly over at Matt, who’s looking at him with a question on his face.

“Sure?” Nicky says, coming over to him. “Something wrong?”

Seth shakes his head, scratches his neck. “Nah, I just…wanted to talk about something?”

“Oh. Okay,” Nicky answers, glancing at the others. “I’ll be up in a minute!” he calls, before Seth can even start to figure out how to ask them not to listen to him stumble through his own personal bullshit.

The look on Matt’s face implies he realizes what’s about to happen, though, and is maybe even a little proud of Seth for it. He nods slightly, waving and starting off, snagging Neil’s hand on the way. Neil goes with a glance back at Seth, Aaron looking confused but not quite accusatory as he falls in on Matt’s other side.

Andrew doesn’t completely trust him, which is fair enough given everything, but he does wander over to his own car, a concession of his willingness to give Seth the space to try. He keeps his gaze on them.

“So…” Nicky prompts gently and Seth almost completely freezes up.

Seth isn’t interested in being a coward, though. “I was shit to you when you never deserved it,” he says. It isn’t really an apology, but it’s the first thing that jumps out of his mouth, followed shortly by, “I was taking my own shit out on you and it won’t happen again.”

Nicky blinks at him in shock. “Your shit…” he parrots, because of course he would latch onto that.

There’s a moment where Seth’s stomach swims. He can feel the ghost of his older brother’s hand tight on the back of his neck, laughing every bad word Seth ever used against Nicky right into his ear. A casual cruelty that let Seth know right where he needed to be standing on the issue to avoid _being_ the issue. It makes his throat so tight he swallows, unable to speak, and it must be visible on his face because Nicky’s eyebrows jump up before Seth can even get out, “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

The pallor that overtakes Nicky’s face is unexpected and it takes Seth a second to remember exactly what sort of bad Nicky would expect out of a sentence like that. His nausea spikes even as he waves his hands to dismiss the thought. “Wait, wait, not that, I just—” He grumbles, anxiously rubbing his own hair. He considers just ending this conversation, but Nicky is looking at him with wide, earnest eyes and he doesn’t want to hold this truth alone anymore. “Being…” he stumbles clumsily over the word, swallows. “Being gay was never… an _option_.”

It was a joke, it was a taunt, it was a predecessor to violence. It was never an identity, not one Seth could see any future in, anyway, because that would mean having to see it in himself where it was _not_ allowed to be.

“Oh,” Nicky sounds a little shaken as he realizes what Seth is saying. “Oh, _Seth_ , you don’t…” His sympathy is too much, squeezes in Seth’s chest.

“And anyway,” he cuts in quickly, “None of that was your fault and I’m sorry I treated you like it was.”

Nicky looks like he wants to say something more, but instead he just nods and, aw _fuck_ , he’s tearing up.

Seth winces. “Dude…”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Nicky actually manages to smile, wobbly as it is. “Thank you. I accept your apology. Can I have a hug?”

The question should be so out of place between them that Seth feels genuine nerves because it _isn’t_ , not really. They _have_ hugged before. It’s just that lately Nicky has gotten better about asking before he touches people most of the time, at least when he isn’t being blatantly reached for.

Seth just doesn’t normally reach out.

This time, though, he holds his arms out, unspeakably grateful. “Yeah, sure, Nicky.”

Nicky hugs like he’s trying to fuse their bodies together which is a little weird, but Seth can’t really say he minds. “Hey, hey, we’re brothers now, right?” Nicky asks.

Seth feels his throat clog up on him a little, a threatening sting behind his eyes. “Yeah, we are.”

“So that means if you _do_ want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“That’s not fair,” Seth says, pulling back to look him in the face. “I was the one who— _ow._ ” He stops when Nicky flicks his shoulder. “What the fuck?”

“None of this is fair, Seth,” Nicky says, bringing his arms to rest around Seth’s waist again. “That’s why we wound up on this team.” He lowers his voice, “That’s the whole reason daddy has us, isn’t it? To hold each other and cry whenever we need to?”

Seth is working on not cringing when Nicky calls Wymack daddy out of little space, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Still, letting himself be held like this in public is already a lot, damn if he’s going to start boohooing in this fucking parking lot. It’s a struggle not to, though, when he confesses the scariest possible truth he’s ever refused to acknowledge to himself. “I don’t know what I am,” he admits unsteadily, “but I don’t… I’m not ready to find out yet.”

Nicky nods again, pulling him back down into his arms and rubbing his back. “Not hating yourself is usually the first step.”

Even after all of it, or maybe especially because of his life recently, Seth doesn’t have to think before he admits softly, “I don’t.” Then, “I don’t hate you either. I just had—I _still got_ some shit to work through.”

“Don’t we all,” Nicky agrees and this time when he pulls back he presses a kiss into Seth’s cheek. “Baby steps,” he says, then laughs. “Pun intended.”

“Fuck you,” Seth says reflexively, but lightly enough that Nicky just keeps laughing.

“Really, though, I’m here, okay?” Nicky says before he steps back.

At this point, Seth is honestly a little angry with himself for missing out on Nicky’s kindness all this time. “Thanks,” he nods over at Andrew. “I know you already got a guard dog, but—”

“You two are always so ready to jump in a fight!” Nicky hisses, hands on his hips. “What if I just want to hang out, huh?”

Seth pauses because, again, this is so outside of his wheelhouse with Nicky. But if he’s learned anything from this whole experience with Pop and this new family, it’s how to shift gears and meet people where they are. “You want to go to lunch sometime?” he asks. “I wanna… I wanna hear about your husband.”

Nicky gives him a brilliant smile. “I would love that!” he says, turning towards the building. “And I promise, I’ll keep it PG-13.”

“Thanks,” Seth says, but it’s in a breath of laughter, not weighted or sarcastic like it would’ve been before. Mostly because he thinks that Nicky really means it, maybe only ever did otherwise to pick a fight neither of them want anymore.

As they approach the door to the tower, Andrew just watches him unflinchingly. It’s not anything overtly hostile, which Seth guesses is saying a lot from where they came from initially, so he just nods his head up in greeting.

Then Andrew surprises him with a fist.

Not a punch, which actually might have been less surprising in the grand scheme of things. Just a fist, held out expectantly towards Seth easy as anything. Nicky is about to outshine the sun in a second, something Seth privately feels withing himself even if he doesn’t show it so blatantly. Seth doesn’t bother holding back a smile as he daps Andrew up before they all head inside.

*

Here is what Seth learns about his oldest brother Nicky when they go out for lunch after class the next week:

Touch is Nicky’s primary love language and, if welcome, he will hug and hold hands with and hang off of and cuddle anyone he likes. Seth isn’t quite sure what to do with being someone on that list other than catch Nicky when he tumbles into him with a full-body greeting.

There is never a moment of his life where he isn’t thinking about his family, which brings him both unfathomable joy and also pain. Nicky loves his little cousins, the born and found ones, and is still carrying (will probably always carry) the weight of what was done to them. Seth would swing on Nicky’s father on sight, but vows to never say so again when it makes Nicky laugh and tear up in the same breath.

For however chatty Nicky is, he also is a good listener. Seth still isn’t ready to really talk about anything too deep, not after only a few days of having said some things out loud for the first time, but he does talk. His parents weren’t exactly shining stars either, much less his brothers. When Nicky puts a hand over his and says he’s been a good brother for as long as he’s been one at all, Seth doesn’t pull his hand away, doesn’t let himself shoot down the complement. He breathes deep and mutters thanks as he wipes at his eye and Nicky squeezes his hand.

Seth also gets a better idea of what… being gay looks like.

It just… looks like Nicky. Just another college kid, wading through the same shit as the rest of them. It looks like his brother wearing a university pullover, eating half-decent pho, and talking about a man he loves very much in Germany. There’s nothing vulgar about the way there’s an uncomplicated happiness lighting up his face when he talks about the little cities they’ve seen together and the flowers they’ve bought each other. Seth watches him rub his ring and talk about getting to build a life together, even after everything the world did to keep him from it, and thinks his parents never loved each other half as much. The thought tugs at his heart, but it doesn’t make him _sick_. Not like he used to think it would, like he made himself _pretend_ it would. It’s not a joke or a taunt, it’s the exact future Nicky wants and the one Seth wants for him.

Sitting and listening to that, Seth starts to think maybe it’s not that bad of a future for… _anyone_ to have.

That’s the furthest he can take that thought for now, but that’s okay. Nicky is unguarded and happy here with him, and Seth feels a strange bit of peace in the bottom of his heart getting to be here, too.

That’s probably a pretty big baby step, right?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading…you are a light and you will find your constellation


End file.
